Like leaves, friendships change :

Everywhere I look I see the leaves beginning to change. As the leaves change colours and start to fall, I am reminded of friendships. Just as the tree’s leaves grow and change, so does a friendship evolve similarly. Friendships start with a kind gesture or a kind word, changing into a heart moving experience, something you wouldn’t miss for the world. Soon afterward the leaves fall, and all the eminence of the experience seems to end. It is comparable to when a friendship sometimes falters. Our hearts fall silent, afraid of losing what we have grown so close to, fearful of being rejected and intimidated by a feeling of insuperiority.

Human acceptance is the foundation of friendship. To have a friendship end would be saying to that person you are no longer worthy of being my friend, a heart wrenching experience. I was reminded of friendships again a few days ago. I heard my sons on the telephone talking with their schoolmate, once a friend. I don’t know all the details as of yet, however, I did over hear the child saying, “What, so your not my friend anymore?” Then the other child says “Well if you’re not his friend, your not my friend either,” and slam goes the phone. Before long I heard what seems to be sobs, and a door slammed shut. Since when did friendships become so complicated to retain? Were the sobs because he lost a friend or because he felt rejected or not worthy? Are friendships so easily made that one can toss them effortlessly aside?

I recall being a teen-ager not so long ago, contrary to my son’s opinion. Two things I’ve learned are that I never want to be a teen-ager again and that friendships do get easier for the most part. We mature and realize our differences, most often, are what made us friends in the first place. Our similarities are what bonded that acceptance of worthiness. Love in our hearts, through trial and error, preserved it all and perpetuated a swell of pride from experiencing the joys and sorrows of friendship over time. Knowing that person has improved your life. The apprehension of rejection never goes away. So when the sorrows come, as they sometimes will, keep in mind you are worthy still. Even if you lose a friend, you will have delightful memories that you would have missed had you not opened your heart to let them in. So friendships never really end, only change. I’ve come to recognize in my old, wrinkle-bag stage of 37 years old that friends are part of the journey through life. With each friendship made, a small part of your destiny is brought to light---to live, laugh, and love.

©2000Nancy Lee Destiny